There is a shop in the Royal Arcade here in Melbourne called Spellbox, which as you may have guessed, is a magic shop. And not the magician/illusionist tricks shop, actual practical magic. Spellbox is your place to go for crystals, wands, magic kits, candles, and books on every type of magic and mythology you can think of. Whether you believe in magic or not, it is a beautiful shop that also sells gorgeous silver jewellery and incense.
Right up in the back corner next to the stairs, almost out of view, is a little wheel. It probably has an actual name, something like fortune wheel. It is basically a wooden wheel with numbers listed at random around it’s edge with a nail between each. When you spin it, a little piece of leather flicks between nails. When it stops on a number, it corresponds to a pigeon hole beneath the wheel that holds little cards. The cards will have what I guess is best described as a fortune on it, as well as instructions for the related bewitchment.
I spin this wheel every time I go in to the shop. The first time I ever spun with, back when I was maybe 8 or 9, I got the number 13, which was scary as I was born on the 13th. This time, I got the number 0, which I didn’t even know was on there. It felt a bit ominous at first, but was actually quite fitting. 0 was about adventure. It read;
“Take a risk, a chance, for this will enhance joy and romance. Follow your heart for bliss to impart and then an amazing adventure will start”
It was only just recently that I had started thinking about where and when I want to go overseas again. I switch from one plan to the other, probably thinking too much of previous plans and feelings rather than current ones. For example, when I was in Europe I felt like seeing more of Australia, or visiting somewhere thats no the UK or Europe. Now, all I want to do is go back to the UK and Europe. And, as always, I am thinking about it far too much.
Right now, I am dissatisfied with life. Not majorly, not enough to make me depressed, just enough to make each passing day a grind, with nothing to work towards. And for some reason, in my heart the only cure for me is to go overseas again. However, logic kicks in and tells me I can’t run away from my problems. Maybe I should stay a little while longer, until I’m happy here, so when I return I have something to return to.
The start of this year, right from the get-go, was a massive clusterfuck for me. January dragged on and one shit thing after another happened, beginning with New Years Eve. And I fell into this state where all I wanted to do was run away to Germany. Things are getting better, however this need to fly the nest (again) is still strong. I’m just not sure what I want to do, where I want to go, or when. This card is making me think it should be soon, but while I am dissatisfied, I am working on things. I’m building my experience in my art, I’m making new friends, I’m going out and attempting to enjoy life. For the first time in my life, I have money to spend and time to do things. But still, nagging at the back of my mind, is my need to travel.
I guess how I should interpret this little card is that travelling is definitely in my near future. Because I have been so unsure whether I should go again soon or not, this has cemented the fact that yes, I should go just somewhere in the next year or so. Whether it’s only for a few weeks, or a bit longer, just somewhere that’s not here.